030 Knowing how to resolve conflict is good for you | Glyn Conlon

“I like when I can say that I can move on now. I’ve dealt with it instead of distracting or going around the issue to revisit it later on”

— Glyn Conlon -

We all know what it feels like to have a prickly conversation or not feel heard. Glyn Conlyn is a highly experienced coach and trainer who specialises in non-violent or compassionate communication.  She promotes communicating simply and easily to allow others to more clearly hear our communication.  Glyn works to build understanding in relationships between friends, couples, families, in the workplace and with partners in business. 

Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Glyn

We spoke about 

• The role of a certified non-violent communication trainer

• The impact of conflict and not being heard from the playground to the workplace

• Ideas on allowing for time to speak with truth

• What compassionate vs violent communication are

• The benefits of compassionate communication for self and others

• Why knowing how to resolve conflict is good for you

• Improving your overall ability to resolve disputes

• The 4 step process Glyn teaches for compassionate communication

• Your attention and intention in the moment

• Getting oneself out of a downward spiral in 5 key steps

• Glyn’s many tips for living fabulously

Value Quotes 

“I’m really careful about telling the truth with care which is different to out and out honesty.”

“What I’ve realised with compassionate communication is that you don’t need to have the quantity of time but you need to know how to access the quality of communication”

“You make a time to put effort into your relationship”

“Everyone is acting from trying to meet a need”

“Personal power, confidence and competence is within everyone’s reach”

“It allows to you understand yourself without judgement and to understand others without needing to agree”

“I like when I can say that I can move on now. I’ve dealt with it instead of distracting or going around the issue to revisit it later on”

“It’s amazing that it’s possible to correct what led to the problem in the first place and prevent future conflicts by doing this”

“If you have that intention to connect that’s really important”

“Surround yourself with others that listen deeply and are not morally judging your thoughts and actions”

If you got value from this episode if you have not yet done so please Subscribe, Rate and Review on iTunes or Stitcher. You can follow the instructions here.  If you know someone else that would get value from this episode as well please share it with them.

Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now!

Episode Links 

You can find Glyn Conlon at:

Website: www.keystoneskills.com.au

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nvciskey/

029 Focus on having a great life | Clarissa Rayward

“Put simply the pace of life coupled with a number of other things at the moment is creating a lot of havoc for a lot of people. It’s something we really need to start addressing, thinking about and making shifts in how we live so that we can be well and live as long as we can”

— Clarissa Rayward -

When I heard Clarissa’s key note speech at the We are Podcast conference recently I was moved by the statistic that 1 in 3 lawyers will struggle with depression, anxiety or some form of a mental health challenge at some stage in their career.  As Clarissa rightly says we consult a lawyer at our most difficult and stressful times in our lives so professionally lawyers are dealing with conflict and negative situations daily.

Clarissa’s journey as the “happy family lawyer” began in 2013 when she started writing a blog which has become a vehicle to not only create a shift in herself but to also to make a difference in her profession.

Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Clarissa  

We spoke about 

• Shifting focus to be a happy family lawyer

• Some of the drivers for the rates of depression in legal professionals

• Jerome Doraisamy’s experience as a law student and his quest to help others

• Creating a supportive environment in the work place

• Key elements to disengage from work

• The impact of the pace of life on our wellbeing

• What success looks like for Clarissa and how this differs to traditional legal measures

• The value of self reflection

• Supportive practices for living a happy life

• Clarissa’s book “Happy lawyer, happy life”

• Enjoying the relationships in your life

Value Quotes 

“I try and work with family’s in a way that keeps them outside of traditional court processes and gives them the best chance to move forward after a divorce with some semblance of a relationship intact”

“To open up a conversation around how we can live better as lawyers, manage the stresses that come with being a professional in this space and ideally try and reduce the statistic”

“We hear a lot of the phrase in our industry of ‘compassion fatigue’, where dealing with these difficult moments and tragedies all the time starts to rub off on our mental health as well and makes it more difficult for us to cope”

“One of the things that I think is really important to our mental health, wellbeing, just our capacity to live life well is rest”

“Rest comes in a number of different ways. Rest is nightly sleeping and many of us don’t get enough sleep on a day to day basis but rest is also the capacity to disconnect from your job”

“That seems to be another one of those big precursors to depression and anxiety as I just can’t disconnect and enable my mind the time it needs to heal itself”

“Put simply the pace of life coupled with a number of other things at the moment is creating a lot of havoc for a lot of people. It’s something we really need to start addressing thinking about, and making shifts in how we live so that we can be well and live as long as we can”

“We can get very caught up in other people’s success stories and their own markers of success rather than pausing and thinking what does it mean for me, what is important to me, what do I want to look back on at the end of my life…”

“Trying to have a positive mindset and seeing the world from a place of opportunity”

“I think you can be a great lawyer but it’s probably more important to focus on having a great life”

“Taking the time to allow yourself to enjoy the people around you, your family, your good friends, whoever it is. Make sure you make time for that stuff.”

If you got value from this episode if you have not yet done so please Subscribe, Rate and Review on iTunes or Stitcher. You can follow the instructions here.  If you know someone else that would get value from this episode as well please share it with them.

Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now!

Episode Links

You can find Clarissa at:

Website: www.thehappyfamilylawyer.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehappyfamilylawyer/

Clarissa’s interview with Jerome Doraisamy on overcoming anxiety and depression: http://www.thehappyfamilylawyer.com/podcast/episode-6-overcoming-anxiety-depression-jerome-doraisamy/

028 Be accountable for the life you choose to live | Annette Tonkin

“Be aware of what you are putting into your brain as it will affect your life”

— Annette Tonkin -

Being at the Olympics was the pinnacle of success for Annette who achieved this yet realised that she wasn’t happy. She had spent so much of her life trying to prove that she was good enough and it was a dark period but thankfully Annette has learned how to manage her anxiety and depression.  

We talk about her journey, her insights and strategies. It is fabulous that Annette now fulfils her passion by working with health professionals to transform the way they work with patients to improve outcomes for everybody.

Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Annette

We spoke about 

• A dual life of internal mess and external success

• The impact of trying to prove she was good enough

• Power of the mind body connection

• Role of unconscious conditioning in the beliefs we acquire

• Changing your beliefs by changing the wiring of your brain

• Personal strategies for dealing with overwhelm, anxiety and dark thoughts

• Managing frustration and anger

• Awareness and impact of self-talk, blaming and complaining

• Being aware of what you are putting into your brain

Value Quotes 

“Acute awareness of the mind body connection and how difficult it is to get over injury or illness if you don’t have the right mindset”

“Some of the self-talk I did I wouldn’t even do to my worst enemies”

“It taught me a powerful lesson about achieving things that are important to you, not to prove yourself to other people”

“Just because you decide to do something doesn’t automatically mean it’s there and it’s happened”

“The mind body connection is that one can’t exist without the other”

“There is some fantastic research coming out on how the mind influences what goes out into body, into the healing rate of the body and the reception of the mind of what’s going on”

“You can change any conditioning or any belief you have as long as you make a decision to do it, have something to fill it with and then be prepared to put in the hard work”

“The more entrenched the habit and the more benefits the habit has for you at an unconscious level the harder it is to change”

“Asking the one single question of what’s important now, Lou Holtz WIN strategy, and recognising what the most important thing I can do now and then do it”

“Once you take action overwhelm seems to dissipate to some degree”

“It’s very hard to breathe slowly and deeply and stay anxious at the same time”

“See anxiety as a friend and ask what it’s trying to tell me”

“Asking myself what’s real right now help’s me put a better perspective on it”

“I’ve become very aware of what’s going into my brain”

“No matter what happens my feelings are my responsibility”

“Your mind is complicit in the provocation of any emotion you have”

“Be really aware of what you are putting into your brain through the five senses”

“Your brain will affect what you think, what you think affects how you feel and what you feel affects what you do”

If you got value from this episode if you have not yet done so please Subscribe, Rate and Review on iTunes or Stitcher. You can follow the instructions here.  If you know someone else that would get value from this episode as well please share it with them.

Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now! 

Episode Links 

You can find Annette at:

Website: www.mindandbodyconsultancy.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindandbodyconsultancy/

Placebo research update with Fabrizio Benedetti on the Brain Science podcast: http://brainsciencepodcast.com/bsp/2016/127-benedetti

Norman Doidge on Conversations with Richard Fidler (ABC): http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2016/07/22/4505384.htm

Zig Ziglar blog: https://www.ziglar.com/blog/

The Brian Buffini Show: http://podcast.brianbuffini.com/episodes/

Viktor Frankl youth in search of meaning and purpose TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/viktor_frankl_youth_in_search_of_meaning