029 Focus on having a great life | Clarissa Rayward

“Put simply the pace of life coupled with a number of other things at the moment is creating a lot of havoc for a lot of people. It’s something we really need to start addressing, thinking about and making shifts in how we live so that we can be well and live as long as we can”

— Clarissa Rayward -

When I heard Clarissa’s key note speech at the We are Podcast conference recently I was moved by the statistic that 1 in 3 lawyers will struggle with depression, anxiety or some form of a mental health challenge at some stage in their career.  As Clarissa rightly says we consult a lawyer at our most difficult and stressful times in our lives so professionally lawyers are dealing with conflict and negative situations daily.

Clarissa’s journey as the “happy family lawyer” began in 2013 when she started writing a blog which has become a vehicle to not only create a shift in herself but to also to make a difference in her profession.

Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Clarissa  

We spoke about 

• Shifting focus to be a happy family lawyer

• Some of the drivers for the rates of depression in legal professionals

• Jerome Doraisamy’s experience as a law student and his quest to help others

• Creating a supportive environment in the work place

• Key elements to disengage from work

• The impact of the pace of life on our wellbeing

• What success looks like for Clarissa and how this differs to traditional legal measures

• The value of self reflection

• Supportive practices for living a happy life

• Clarissa’s book “Happy lawyer, happy life”

• Enjoying the relationships in your life

Value Quotes 

“I try and work with family’s in a way that keeps them outside of traditional court processes and gives them the best chance to move forward after a divorce with some semblance of a relationship intact”

“To open up a conversation around how we can live better as lawyers, manage the stresses that come with being a professional in this space and ideally try and reduce the statistic”

“We hear a lot of the phrase in our industry of ‘compassion fatigue’, where dealing with these difficult moments and tragedies all the time starts to rub off on our mental health as well and makes it more difficult for us to cope”

“One of the things that I think is really important to our mental health, wellbeing, just our capacity to live life well is rest”

“Rest comes in a number of different ways. Rest is nightly sleeping and many of us don’t get enough sleep on a day to day basis but rest is also the capacity to disconnect from your job”

“That seems to be another one of those big precursors to depression and anxiety as I just can’t disconnect and enable my mind the time it needs to heal itself”

“Put simply the pace of life coupled with a number of other things at the moment is creating a lot of havoc for a lot of people. It’s something we really need to start addressing thinking about, and making shifts in how we live so that we can be well and live as long as we can”

“We can get very caught up in other people’s success stories and their own markers of success rather than pausing and thinking what does it mean for me, what is important to me, what do I want to look back on at the end of my life…”

“Trying to have a positive mindset and seeing the world from a place of opportunity”

“I think you can be a great lawyer but it’s probably more important to focus on having a great life”

“Taking the time to allow yourself to enjoy the people around you, your family, your good friends, whoever it is. Make sure you make time for that stuff.”

If you got value from this episode if you have not yet done so please Subscribe, Rate and Review on iTunes or Stitcher. You can follow the instructions here.  If you know someone else that would get value from this episode as well please share it with them.

Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now!

Episode Links

You can find Clarissa at:

Website: www.thehappyfamilylawyer.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehappyfamilylawyer/

Clarissa’s interview with Jerome Doraisamy on overcoming anxiety and depression: http://www.thehappyfamilylawyer.com/podcast/episode-6-overcoming-anxiety-depression-jerome-doraisamy/

028 Be accountable for the life you choose to live | Annette Tonkin

“Be aware of what you are putting into your brain as it will affect your life”

— Annette Tonkin -

Being at the Olympics was the pinnacle of success for Annette who achieved this yet realised that she wasn’t happy. She had spent so much of her life trying to prove that she was good enough and it was a dark period but thankfully Annette has learned how to manage her anxiety and depression.  

We talk about her journey, her insights and strategies. It is fabulous that Annette now fulfils her passion by working with health professionals to transform the way they work with patients to improve outcomes for everybody.

Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Annette

We spoke about 

• A dual life of internal mess and external success

• The impact of trying to prove she was good enough

• Power of the mind body connection

• Role of unconscious conditioning in the beliefs we acquire

• Changing your beliefs by changing the wiring of your brain

• Personal strategies for dealing with overwhelm, anxiety and dark thoughts

• Managing frustration and anger

• Awareness and impact of self-talk, blaming and complaining

• Being aware of what you are putting into your brain

Value Quotes 

“Acute awareness of the mind body connection and how difficult it is to get over injury or illness if you don’t have the right mindset”

“Some of the self-talk I did I wouldn’t even do to my worst enemies”

“It taught me a powerful lesson about achieving things that are important to you, not to prove yourself to other people”

“Just because you decide to do something doesn’t automatically mean it’s there and it’s happened”

“The mind body connection is that one can’t exist without the other”

“There is some fantastic research coming out on how the mind influences what goes out into body, into the healing rate of the body and the reception of the mind of what’s going on”

“You can change any conditioning or any belief you have as long as you make a decision to do it, have something to fill it with and then be prepared to put in the hard work”

“The more entrenched the habit and the more benefits the habit has for you at an unconscious level the harder it is to change”

“Asking the one single question of what’s important now, Lou Holtz WIN strategy, and recognising what the most important thing I can do now and then do it”

“Once you take action overwhelm seems to dissipate to some degree”

“It’s very hard to breathe slowly and deeply and stay anxious at the same time”

“See anxiety as a friend and ask what it’s trying to tell me”

“Asking myself what’s real right now help’s me put a better perspective on it”

“I’ve become very aware of what’s going into my brain”

“No matter what happens my feelings are my responsibility”

“Your mind is complicit in the provocation of any emotion you have”

“Be really aware of what you are putting into your brain through the five senses”

“Your brain will affect what you think, what you think affects how you feel and what you feel affects what you do”

If you got value from this episode if you have not yet done so please Subscribe, Rate and Review on iTunes or Stitcher. You can follow the instructions here.  If you know someone else that would get value from this episode as well please share it with them.

Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now! 

Episode Links 

You can find Annette at:

Website: www.mindandbodyconsultancy.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindandbodyconsultancy/

Placebo research update with Fabrizio Benedetti on the Brain Science podcast: http://brainsciencepodcast.com/bsp/2016/127-benedetti

Norman Doidge on Conversations with Richard Fidler (ABC): http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2016/07/22/4505384.htm

Zig Ziglar blog: https://www.ziglar.com/blog/

The Brian Buffini Show: http://podcast.brianbuffini.com/episodes/

Viktor Frankl youth in search of meaning and purpose TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/viktor_frankl_youth_in_search_of_meaning

027 Dealing with depression | Susan Noonan MD

“Talking about it will help to normalise things because then the person begins to understand that depression is a legitimate illness”

— Susan Noonan MD -

In an authentic way Susan bridges the space between being a recipient and a provider of mental health services. This makes her a wonderfully compassionate doctor to her patients and her firsthand knowledge of what it’s like to live with a mood disorder is heartening. She shares her insights and wisdom on this often debilitating and challenging illness from both the person dealing with depression and from the people living with them.

Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Susan

• We spoke about 

• A unique perspective as patient, physician, author, blogger and certified peer specialist on mental health issues

• Susan becoming an expert by experience

• The importance of having a treatment team on your side and access to mental health education

• Ways to support someone dealing with depression

• Asking direct questions to determine the need and urgency for getting professional help

• Depression as a biologically based condition involving the mind and the body

• When someone refuses treatment for depression

• Having an open minded supportive conversation about depression

• Caring for yourself to avoid burnout when living with someone with a mood disorder

• Recovery from depression as an ongoing process with fluctuations

• Applying the basics of mental health and wellbeing

• Sleep as a critical recovery tool for mental health

• Differences in symptoms between teenagers and adults

• Susan’s book “When someone you know has depression”

• Balance and a degree of organisation to living fabulously

Value Quotes 

“Persistence and perseverance was really the hallmark of my life”

“For most of the time my depression went untreated because that’s the way things were done in my family”

“I had an extraordinary treatment team who held hope for me when I had absolutely none”

“It seemed then to make most sense to share what I had learned about the illness with others”

“Family members and close friends are often the first ones to recognise any subtle changes that occur”

“You want to provide hope and realistic expectations for your family member”

“Try not to promise anything that you can’t deliver”

“It often leads to some distortions in our thinking which the person who has depression doesn’t often recognise”

“Try to understand what’s behind the person’s thinking for refusing treatment and try to address those issues”

“Begin by reassuring them that you love them and are concerned for them. Point out the concrete things that are different in the person that are different from their usual state”

“Talking about it will help to normalise things because then the person begins to understand that depression is a legitimate illness”

“You can have the illness and people don’t judge you for it and don’t criticise you for having it. You’re not less of a person for happening to have this illness”

“Burnout refers to the symptoms and the emotions you have from caring for someone”

“Episodes of depression may come as a random pattern that is unique to each person”

“Don’t allow the depression to consume him or her, it’s not what defines you it’s just something you happen to have”

“Sound sleep optimised brain function and has a positive effect on your mood disorder”

“A change in the amount of your sleep or the quality of your sleep will definitely affect your illness most definitely”

“It’s a myth to think you can catch up on your sleep”

“Suicide is usually considered an impulsive action in a troubled person who sees no way to change their painful circumstances”

If you got value from this episode if you have not yet done so please Subscribe, Rate and Review on iTunes or Stitcher. You can follow the instructions here.  If you know someone else that would get value from this episode as well please share it with them.

Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now! 

Episode Links 

You can find Dr Susan Noonan MD at:

Website: :  http://susannoonanmd.com/

If you experiencing a personal crisis help is available by calling Lifeline Australia on 131114 or find resources at https://www.lifeline.org.au/