“Learn to be honest with yourself as much as you possibly can and don’t run away from yourself because your shadow will just catch up with you”
Wise words from coach, course creator and teacher, Patti Villalobos who is passionate about enabling people to live better lives and reflects that this is ‘a journey worth taking’. We all wish for relationships that flourish however we can be at the people-pleasing or overtly controlling end of a spectrum and it’s tough to break entrenched patterns. This interview is a must-listen if you are ready to make a change for the better with boundaries both for your self and with others. Patti shares great analogies, stories and examples to bring clarity to the art of setting boundaries.
Inspire yourself with these essential insights from Patti Villalobos
We spoke about
Starting over with a passion for helping people move forward
Recreating overwork and why being driven didn’t work
From an out of control and reactive life to better balance and self-care
Why we get caught up in the trap of saying yes when we mean no
Reframing healthy conflict by balancing the “see-saw”
Breaking the cycle of entrenched behaviour and patterns
The opportunity of creating new patterns in long term relationships
Building more honest relationships
Patti’s course ‘Set Boundaries like a Boss’
Embracing your shadow self to come to wholeness
Value Quotes
“Talk about a wake up call. This was a wake up call from my soul to say ok what are you doing?”
“With the insomnia it brought a lot of anxiety and depression because of course when you are not sleeping everything is jacked up right”
“As long as I’m being pro-active in my self-care I feel the healthiest emotionally, mentally and spiritually than I’ve ever been”
“Setting boundaries is part of being assertive and you don’t have to be mean or aggressive when you do it”
“Conflict is inevitable. You are going to have people who don’t agree with you just because they see the world different from you”
“Recognise you’re learning a skill and so don’t beat yourself up. Have grace when you don’t get it ‘right’ and practice is what makes it perfect, if there is such a thing”
“What you need to recognise is that you can’t change another’s behaviour. What you can do, is you can change your approach and when you change your approach the interaction between the two of you is going to change”
“If you have a relationship with someone who is important to you and you start changing, that kind of freaks them out a little bit. They get afraid they’re going to lose you. They get afraid that it is reflecting back on them and that they need to change… so unconsciously they start ‘pulling at your ankles’”
“Your boundaries help you to keep moving towards your values and towards who you are wanting to be but hopefully you can do it without doing the ‘cut and run’”
“I like to look at boundaries as more than just saying no to things. Boundaries are also about saying yes to the right things”
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Until next time fabulous podcast listener, I’m Bev and I invite you to live the fab life with me now!
Episode Links
You can find Patti Villalobos at:
Website: http://www.pattivillalobos.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PattiVillalobosCoaching/
Brené Brown author of Rising Strong: http://brenebrown.com/books/